Saving the Airlines

I was glad to read these exciting ideas on how to help our domestic airlines:


Dump the male flight attendants.
No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with
good-looking strippers! What the hell —
They don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a “party atmosphere” going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money ! I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and “special services.”

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right — a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn’t Bush think of this?
Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Bill Clinton

Fortunately, there are forward thinkers who have already started utilizing these ideas.

4 thoughts on “Saving the Airlines

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  3. Great to be going to your weblog once more, it has been months for me. Well this post that i’ve been waited for so long. I want this post to total my assignment inside the university, and it has same subject together with your article. Thanks, excellent share.

  4. now Fritz, I thought you would have learned of the limited sense of humor among some of your readers after the reaction to your Republican political post. These airline suggestions could be construed as blatantly sexist since they eliminate male flight attendants before suggesting strippers. There are female business execs, for example, who I suspect would be enjoy men in thongs.

    Personally, I think simply restoring food service would be a HUGE plus.

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